Dear Amy: My fiance, “Albert,” speaks directly. He will talk about any topic, regardless of the situation or the audience.
He does not care if anyone is interested in what he says.
He wants to tell endless stories ̵
He does not seem to read the social signals that indicate that people want him to stop talking.
He has been reprimanded more than once by his employers for talking to workers on his job sites and wasting time while they were around the clock.
If I invite friends over, it does not matter that we have a conversation; he will interrupt and try to lead the conversation to a topic he likes.
I have stopped inviting my friends because his behavior is annoying and embarrassing.
He complains that he has no real friends to do things with, but holy smoker, I may know why!
I can ‘t watch TV or listen to the radio because he’s talking about something over the sound.
Albert is a very nice guy, but I have started to dread going to meetings with him, and this makes me feel terrible.
I’m worried this is a mental illness.
Am I just being ridiculous and petty, or can he have a problem that a doctor or therapist can help with?
Dear Concerned: If “Albert’s” behavior is as extreme as you describe, you should take a serious look at your own capacity and willingness to deal with such a noisy and intellectually fulfilling long-term partnership.
Being with him already makes you isolate yourself. His compulsive behavior affects his professional abilities as well as your circumstances.
Yes, his non-stop talking can be the result of a problem that can be treated: extreme anxiety, bipolar disorder, Aspergers or ADHD.
Talking non-stop can also be a way for a person to keep their deeper emotions in check, cover old wounds or trauma.
Your fiancé should be evaluated by a mental health professional. One way to confront this problem is to book an appointment with a therapist for counseling for both.
Dear Amy: My fiance and I are getting married in September! We have already sent out “save the dates.”
We decided not to invite my friend, “Mark”, and I feel terrible about it.
Mark has been battling alcoholism for the past two years. I feel like I have done everything I can to help him on the journey. He has had several hospital stays and gone to hospital for rehabilitation.
Before this we had talked about being the best man in each other’s weddings, but our relationship has changed.
I recently found out through the family member that he moved down the street from me a month ago. I’ve tried to reach out to him, but he’s not the best at returning text messages and phone calls.
My fiancé, who is wise over the years, has said that some friends are for a season, some for a reason, some for life.
However, I just can not shake the guilt of not inviting him to our wedding. Your advice?
Dear groom: Your boyfriend takes on friendship is wise. Your guilt also gives you a strong message. You should be aware.
It’s understandable that you may not want to put on “Mark” with the pressure and stress of being your best man, but why not invite him to your wedding?
His illness has a very big impact on all his relationships, but the loop of alienating others and self-isolating makes everything worse.
Your relationship has been strained. You can not cure his alcoholism. You probably can not even help him, but it might be good for both of you if you hung in there.
Whether he could cope with attending the event should be up to him.
Dear Amy: “Grossed Out Girlfriend” protested against the pornographic decor his girlfriend’s roommates had in their apartment.
If she does not like it, she can stay away! Your suggestion to her to suggest that they post a nude photo of Burt Reynolds was asinin!
Dear disgust: The late Burt Reynolds participated in a rather legendary nude photo shoot for Cosmopolitan magazine in 1972. Given that his roommates’ pornography was cheesy, I thought this might be a fun suggestion.
You can email Amy Dickinson at firstname.lastname@example.org or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.