This kusoge will give you chest pain
I do not have much ownership in Aliens series. I watched Aliens, so I watched Aliens, and then I stopped there. Everyone says it’s going to be awful to start with the third movie, so why ruin what was good? I did the same with Robocop and The Godfather. It’s great to have foresight to reject the bad and just enjoy the influential good. I did not buy hype with Aliens: Colonial Marines.
I do not even remember if I saw the original “vertical slice” game demo. The edge of my seat was vacant for a full seven years of development. It just landed and I got to see the play. The lashing it got. The dirt that was dug up on it. It was juicy! So let̵
It is important to note that I did not play Colonial Marines at launch. I play it years after when it has been patched a whole bunch on PC with fancy things like SSAO. While I come to the conclusion that it is still not super good, its current condition probably has something to do with the fact that I am not seriously offended by it.
Colonial Marines is the offensive story of how Alien 3 happened, but not how it was told in the film. I guess Sigourney Weaver’s amazing jaw, a half android and a child were thrown into space at some point between the movies, but now Sulaco is back in orbit around LV-426 for some reason, and it sends out an emergency signal. Sephora, packed with Marines, arrives to investigate and finds everything that has been attacked by alien birds.
That’s completely stupid. To make a reset on Alien 3, grab the spine and just retcon it. If you want Dwayne back in your imagination, there are ways to do it without offending our intelligence. Watch The Godfather, so do not look The Godfather. Look instead Scarface: The world is yours who needed to tell an innumerable story, so it did just that anyway.
I want to destroy more because the plot just gets more contrived and stupid over time, but I’m sure you’re just scratching, you’re playing it and want to go in as blind as possible. So I’m going away.
The game doesn’t really start that badly. You’re a Marine sent aboard the Sulaco to see what happened to the last Marine team to enter. Guess what? Aliens! Apparently, Weyland-Yutani arrived much earlier than your militant ass and came back to do what they do best: turn forces beyond their control.
It starts suspensively enough, even if you damn well know what’s going on. Your default speed is to walk and you just crawl through abandoned corridors and say, “Oh! I know this dead ball from Aliens! ” You have a trace of movement, which I swear was jury-rigged in the first film and should not be something everyone carries around, and it’s useful exactly zero times. Just like in the movie! You get a pulse gun and a bunch of other useless weapons that are not the pulse gun. It’s time for a belly hunt!
Oh yes. You’re tied to this guy named O’Neal who alternates between pointless bravado and constant complaining. New.
Weren’t the colonial navies already Weyland-Yutani’s private army? You stop fighting the evil company PMC, because an army is apparently not evil enough. It makes sense, every human in the game is as boring as a freshly cut lawn. Their attempts to flank are ridiculous, and their willingness to cover up just to dress over the battlefield is always entertaining. Your own teammates are also rebellious. They do not care. They will stand in the middle of the action and just spray the weird explosion of bullets at what comes near.
Not that xenomorph AI is any better. The first one you were introduced to in the game, just sat still for me and squatted on the ground. It made me go straight up and shoot it in the back of the head. Not the best first impression.
Really, though, they do their job. They crawl on the walls and bounce out of the vents in a way that can make them a little harder to target. They’re still just bullying you, but the bar is set pretty low by the people.
It’s just so damn overwhelming. The best ideas Colonial Marines has is only wholesaler lifted from Aliens. You start at Sulaco. Then go down to Hadley’s Hope. Again, visit the mummified alien in the old spaceship. Who are you trying to impress, Colonial Marines? I’ve done this before in video games that made more sense, it’s not new or interesting.
While on a sightseeing tour, you can enjoy some of the most boring and tedious shooting imaginable. The environments all have the same themes: blue-gray corridors, cloudy outdoors, several blue-gray corridors. I know Aliens was initially the first to use such environments, but I will say the same thing as I do about any boring environment: throw down a damn blanket. Where is the coffee station? Where is the break room? Some hang a painting by God-Emperor Weyland.
But the worst sin is not even that it is so damn boring and uninspired; that’s how the publisher and the developers were about Colonial Marines leads to release. Sega got Aliens license and gave it to Gearbox who relaxed with their work to make Borderlands. When they succeeded, they probably did not return to licensed games, so they transferred all the work to Timegate Studios that had previously done Section 8: Prejudice. As if all the work was given to them. The gearbox had practically nothing. So they built this game while getting approval on everything from Gearbox and Sega.
In the meantime, they had to make a demo for E3 2011. They built it on advanced workstations and knew full well that it would never run on consoles at that time. It was a “goal”, but Randy Pitchford from Gearbox presented it as a “vertical piece” of the game. He insisted that it be done in real time, even if it was not.
Timegate Studios gave the work to Gearbox to make it work on consoles, and then things get muddy. Gearbox says that Timegate gave them a mess, and that they had to save the project within the next 9 months, Timegate says that at least 50% of their work was kept. Sega says that Gearbox had broken the contract and spent development money on it Borderlands. Gearbox said Randy Pitchford lowered his personal finances in completing the game. They also said that Sega wanted to make the game more similar Duty calls, and that is why it is the Weyland-Yutani PMC. Michael Biehn said everyone on the project was passionate.
The last part is quite clear in the final product. Everything else is just a lot of pointing; accusations of who asked for on the floor. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say: who the most floor cup belongs to.
It would be fun, but people bought Colonial Marines, full price, and expect them to get what they were promised. Instead, they got an incredible mess that contains overreach for publishers, rude laziness and a lot of lies.
Today, the game is not super good, but it is playable. It feels more soulless than harmful. I’m actually more upset that it was so highly profiled when it mostly just deserves a place in the sun-bleached robbery box next to Turok (2008). It sold over a million copies, and the widespread notoriety probably hurt sales Alien: Isolation, a much better game that the people who developed it actually cared about.
So, seriously, screw this blue-gray, boring ass game about oorah hero marines fighting the bad company that owns them. Burying it is not even enough to wipe away sins. We have to push it off track. That’s the only way.